Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
this just has baby written all over it
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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