Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
