So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
