I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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