I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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