it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
