If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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