If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
