i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
