So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
