woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
