Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
