why didn't you poke me back
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
The air taste purple.
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