Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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