I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
