I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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