i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
