:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
