Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
