Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
