You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
