My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
