swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
