I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
