He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
