can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
