i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
