Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
