Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
