Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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