I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
