Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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