That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
