ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
