The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize