Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
