Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
