Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
