dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
