Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
