Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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