I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
