I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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