Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My room smells like vodka and shame
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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