New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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