sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
