if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
