Cold hands, warm shart.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
