Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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