yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
