Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
